You Are Here: Home > Articles > Working Relationships > Article

The Secret Benefit Of Positive Selfishness

by Ted Nicholas

Most people have it backwards.

The majority believe that to succeed in a really big way, there are some hidden truths. And if you knew those secrets you could earn unlimited wealth quickly and easily.

It is widely believed that just by putting forth minimal effort you could somehow be showered with all kinds of riches. This is, of course, nonsense.

Here's the reality. Such views lead to frustration, unhappiness and poverty. Clearly, despite its popularity through the ages, the dream of something for nothing is a complete myth.

Precious few know the simple and powerful truth. There is no free lunch. And never will be.

Please understand. I'm making an important distinction between positive selfishness, which is necessary and makes the world go around. And negative selfishness, which is inhumane and doesn't work.

Selfishness is the most misunderstood word in any language, in my opinion.

Yet, unless you fully understand this important word, your future will be limited. You will never be as successful or as happy as you otherwise could be.

The reason for the confusion is this. There are 2 types of selfishness: positive and negative.

Negative selfishness is self-destructive. And doesn't work in the long run. It requires others to sacrifice themselves to you.

Positive selfishness does not require sacrifice of anyone to anyone. It involves a voluntary exchange of relatively equal values.

The best example of positive selfishness in action is the career of a successful trader, the entrepreneur, who is exchanging values with those who voluntarily deal with him or her (the best book ever written on this topic in my view is "The Virtue of Selfishness" by the late Ayn Rand).

Related to positive selfishness is a universal law called the Law of Reciprocity. At first it may seem a big jump and not have any connection with positive selfishness. But, I'll do my best to clear up any confusion and tie it together for you. And once you discover and apply this law, your life and success level will dramatically improve almost immediately.

Here is the real magic. There is no wasted energy in the universe. When you give freely to other humans, it comes back to you. Again and again in almost unlimited ways. Your wealth will increase not by a small percentage but by 10, 100, and 1,000 more times.

And it's not just your wealth that will multiply. Your friendships, contacts, new friends and even your health and happiness will instantly improve. And so will your self-respect. The power of this universal law is so enormous it defies imagination.

I recently returned from speaking at a London seminar. That experience was a great example of the Law of Reciprocity in action.

I wish you, as a subscriber, could have been there. But as soon as the event was announced to the sponsor's mailing list, mostly in the U.K., every seat was booked.

Within 24 hours 2,600 people booked their place at Wembley Convention Center in London.

There was also a waiting list of over 200 after the sponsor's mailing. There were simply no seats available for my personal family of customers and clients.

However, I will give you the second best gift (next to being there) I can think of. I'll describe the tone and character of the seminar to you. That way you can gain its invaluable lessons just as though you were there live.

Picture this.

The seminar sponsor, Andrew Reynolds, is a very successful U.K. direct marketer, seminar attendee of mine and friend of several years.

The seminar concept.

A very worthy charity. One hundred percent of the money raised from the seminar seats went to Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital. The patients are children, many of whom are seriously ill.

When Andrew last summer told me about the plan to help this wonderful charity, I instantly agreed to speak at no fee.

The result.

We raised over $600,000 within 24 hours after it was announced! And I believe the total from our efforts will exceed $1,000,000 very soon. Think of how many children's lives we may have saved.

In my view, even if we extended or saved one child's life, the event was incredibly worthwhile.

The seminar audience.

Entrepreneurs, nearly 100% who came from Andrew Reynold's mailing list.

The speakers included several well-known marketers from all around the world. Most specialize in online marketing.

My long-time readers are aware that I advocate the real secret to huge success is to not fall in love with any media. But to use both online and offline techniques. And I spoke about the best methods to accomplish success.

Sales of my books and tapes were available at the event. Attendees who wished to continue their education in direct marketing were offered the opportunity to do so.

The result.

More orders than any other presenter. And I wasn't doing anything special to promote sales. In fact, I didn't even make a pitch to buy my materials. I simply described them to attendees after I was asked to do so. More about that in a moment.

Reaction from the crowd.

Hundreds of incredible testimonials after my speech were given both at the event and in e-mails which have been pouring in.

While the previous comments may give you a taste of what happened, I feel compelled to share much more with you. Not to blow my own horn, but so you can capture the flow and spirit of the audience who came from all over the world.

For example, when I was off the stage, for 3 solid days I had a continuous line of people asking for autographs while I answered their marketing questions.

But during my speech I also shared some deeply personal things about health challenges my partner and I have faced, including our diet and exercise program. What a reaction!

I commented that Bethany, my beautiful partner of 18 years, and I both are cancer survivors. Hers at age twenty with nasopharyngeal carcinoma (survival rate 5%). I had bladder cancer 7 years ago. I'm not sure of the exact survival rate, but I know it's very low. Both of us are now completely cancer-free and in peak health.

I talked about our diet, exercise program, water consumption, supplements and a special and delicious anti-cancer breakfast cereal we make at least twice a week.

A Nobel Prize-nominated doctor has proven just 2 special ingredients in our morning cereal formula can prevent and even cure cancer.

It became clear that many delegates currently have a loved one or friend who has cancer, or a family member who has suffered from cancer or passed away. This prompted many questions about cancer and health that Bethany and I answered offstage long into the night.

I also talked about the importance of a loving relationship in your life. I shared how I feel about Bethany.

Numerous men and women in the audience during my speech visibly showed strong emotions. Many were crying. Some tears were of joy; others of sadness. Still others of hope, which none of us can live without.

I also shared many of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life—in business, in marketing, in life. And I gave my view about how to avoid them.

How does all the above tie into the Law of Reciprocity?

I'll give you some additional information so you can answer this important question yourself.

In preparing to speak at any seminar, including the Wembley event, I focus on answering just one question.

"How can I best help the audience the most?"

Most speakers focus on what they can get out of the event in fees, orders, clients, etc. (The Wembley speakers were a notable exception.)

My speaking goal does not include anything else. I'm not, for example, as a primary goal focused on gaining clients or making sales of my books and tapes. I don't even describe any of my products unless the audience asks me to do so. If this happens, great. But it's a by-product of my main goal.

My view is as follows: I simply do everything within my power to help the audience. Move heaven and earth to communicate immediately usable information during the limited time we have together.

I continue to help those who ask for it when I leave the stage (most professional speakers in the world refuse to spend time off the platform interacting personally with attendees).

You can't fool an audience of just one or a stadium full of 2,600 people. Your audience can sense your sincerity and where you are coming from in your attitude, tone of voice and presentation.

I don't pressure the audience to purchase my products. I know each attendee desperately needs every product I offer to succeed online or offline. I simply make my material available. If they really want further education from me they can get it. Very simple really.

The point is this. To achieve massive success as a speaker, or marketer or entrepreneur, you need to stop focusing just on your goals. Instead, you've got to give and give and give. Do this with your heart, soul and knowledge.

And when you really focus on the needs of your clients, you in effect switch on the "Law".

Rewards of all kinds will come back to you many-fold.

The entire event at Wembley, including all who were involved, is full of examples of the Law of Reciprocity in action. They include:

1) The promoter—Andrew Reynolds, the promoter who created the entire event, was so touched that the illness and unnecessary death of a child occurred because the parents couldn't afford treatment. He felt in a wealthy country like the UK this is outrageous. This prompted him to do something to help children from poor families who desperately need medical attention they cannot afford.

2) The speakers—Every single speaker from around the world donated their time and spoke without compensation.

3) The participants—The real champions of any seminar are the attendees. Every delegate received a ticket to attend only after they made a contribution to Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital.

4) The motive—Everyone involved was present not for personal gain, but for the children. But, look at what happened.

5) The networking—Numerous contacts were made by speakers as well as attendees with each other. Several major joint ventures involving big money are already in process.

What's that worth?

Many like-minded people became good, almost instant friends.

What's that worth?

Many new people were exposed to my work as well as that of the other presenters. The impact will last for years to come, maybe for a lifetime.

What's that worth?

Several chronically ill children's lives will be prolonged and possibly saved.

What's that worth?

Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital will get new equipment and also make some badly needed repairs.

What's that worth?

Numerous attendees want to become future clients of my copywriting, consulting, and marketing services and to set up joint ventures. I was also invited to speak at several other seminars.

What's that worth?

The above are just a few examples of the Law of Reciprocity in action. The magical power of the "Law" will exceed your most optimistic dreams.

The best part?

It never fails!

Unleash the power of the Law of Reciprocity in your life. And watch your success, health, loving relationships, and wealth multiply many-fold.

Here is the real secret. Without being focused on the outcome, give more value to your fellow humans than they would ever expect from you. It will come back to you many times over.

There may be a time delay in receiving a return on your output of effort. But it will come back to you and is just as certain as night following day. It is also the most positively selfish thing spiritually and financially you could ever do for yourself.

As you personally experience the "Law" and newfound success, I'd love to hear about it. I promise to share your success with others. This is still another example of how often giving freely to others rewards the givers far more than the receivers, while making the world a much better place.

Copyright © 2005 Ted Nicholas

In the field of copywriting, Ted Nicholas is right up there among the legends, or he wouldn't be conducting seminars to thousands of people since 1991, a year when he 'retired' himself. Access past articles by Ted here.

Share this article: