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Chapter 3: Loud And Clear!

by Nelson Tan

Imagine 2 very contrasting types of communicators: one, a man of few words, but who can galvanized a whole nation into massive action by speaking out a single sentence with less than 10 words, and the other, who can keep on stressing and emphasizing until he is black in the face and the sun goes down, but still nobody would care.

Between these 2 opposite ends of the pole, where do you lie in between? How would you cut down on redundant talk and start to focus on what you want to get out of a round of conversation and at the same time contribute to what the other party wants out of the conversation as well?

We do not profess to be communication experts, but if there’s one book we must recommend for your essential reading, then that must be Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends & Influence People”, another age-old classic that stands the test of time and which you can easily find in most bookstores. Within the Masterminding context, there are specific communication protocols to follow but you need not treat “How To Win Friends & Influence People” as a prerequisite. You can read it in your spare time.

All Relationships Contain A Common 'Space'

In the last chapter, we mentioned that it’s worth taking time out to speak to your partners about things outside business. For every effort that you make to understand your partners’ views and situations, you are basically taking genuine interest in them. Do not think that it’s a waste of time, for no one likes to waste time. There is real progress being made and here’s what happened.

When a person makes friend with another and cares to speak to him/her long enough, they gradually create and share a common ‘space’ and lingo inside which only the 2 of them can understand and feel comfortable. That’s why a man and a woman can be married for 50 years because they took the time to build a common comfort zone for one another, and this is not a matter of ‘somehow’. From the outsiders’ point of view, this is privacy space and they cannot gain access into it, until they are invited.

About the lingo, well, like we said, most of us are no communication experts. The best way to establish a common lingo is to keep talking but more importantly, keep listening twice as much until you find out what makes the other person tick or react in a certain way. You may not know his/her full set of beliefs, personal values or how he/she was brought up; you only need to appreciate on hindsight these are but a few of some crucial factors that determine what ‘psychological triggers’ affect a person the most. With a good degree of observation, you can gauge a specific pattern of the person’s reactions and behaviors, and out of this pattern, how the person processes his/her thoughts, and what thoughts are these.

Besides lingo, there are also the non-verbal parts of communication to pay attention to, like the way the person dresses up, the manner in which he/she carries his/her presence, how he/she projects a certain kind of image he/she wants other people to see, physiology (facial expression, posture, breathing, general body language) etc.

Never Fill This Common Space With Individual Obstacles

This sounds like you can get rather personal with the other guy. On the contrary, all you need is hindsight and a sense of mutual respect for him/her. At the very least, Masterminding techniques do not strictly concern themselves with the personality make-up. You see, today’s lesson is this: Your job to yourself is not to let not just your personality, but also your very concerns for the day and other ‘matters of the moment’, obstruct or get in the way of the Masterminding process. You are required to put your whole heart and mind into one round of Masterminding.

Have we made ourselves clear? Good! Store this very important chapter at the back on your mind and move on. With regards to the question of how you can be a ‘man of few words’, we leave the answer to another chapter. Stay tuned.

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Nelson Tan is the architect behind Internet Mastery Center (http://www.internetmasterycenter.com): Create Your Online Profits with the RIGHT Products, Environment and Mindset!

(You may reprint this text as an individual article.)

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